Coming to Terms with Age and Fitness as a Woman

Coming to Terms With Age and Fitness as a Woman

In my late 30s, I’ve had to accept something that took me longer than I’d like to admit:

My body didn’t change because I “let myself go.”

It changed because the rules changed — and no one told us.

For most of my 20s, fitness felt simple. More cardio. Less food. A short-term reset when things felt off. If progress slowed, the answer was always to do more — more miles, more sweat, more discipline.  And for a long time, that worked.  Until it didn’t.

When the Old Rules Stop Working

Somewhere in your late 30s, you realize the strategies that once kept you lean don’t just stop working — they start backfiring.

The endless cardio.

The casual dieting.

The idea that you can muscle your way through fatigue.

Instead, you’re left with:

• Stubborn body composition changes
• Slower recovery
• Feeling inflamed, tired, or wired-but-exhausted
• And the frustration of doing everything “right” with little to show for it

That’s the part no one prepares you for.  You’re not less disciplined,  your body is just done playing by outdated rules.

The Problem With “Just Try Harder”

What makes this phase especially hard is the messaging.

When your body changes, the fitness industry is quick to suggest:

• You’re not consistent enough
• You need a new program
• You need to cut carbs
• You need more intensity

What rarely gets acknowledged until recently is that female physiology changes with age, stress load, and life responsibilities — especially for women juggling careers, motherhood, and chronic under-recovery. This isn’t a motivation problem,  it’s a strategy problem.

Body Composition Isn’t a Moral Issue

One of the biggest mental shifts for me has been separating my body from my worth — and from my effort.

I train, I move regularly, I fuel myself,  and my body still doesn’t look the way it did at 25 (and why the hell should it?!? I've had 2 kids and am still putting a lot of work in to keeping them alive).

That doesn’t mean I’m failing.

It means my body is responding to context:

• Less sleep
• More stress
• Different hormones
• A nervous system that doesn’t recover the same way it used to

Once I stopped treating body composition like a personal flaw, I could finally adjust my approach instead of punishing myself.

What I Had to Let Go Of

In my late 30s, I’ve had to release the idea that effort alone guarantees results.

That meant stepping away from:

• Using cardio as my primary fat-loss tool
• Dieting “for a few days” to get back on track
• Training like recovery was optional
• Expecting my body to respond the way it did in my 20s

Those strategies didn’t stop working because I got lazy.  They stopped working because my body got smarter.

Strength at Every Age

Here’s what I believe now:

Strength isn’t something you age out of. It just changes shape.

In your 30s and 40s, strength becomes less about proving something and more about capacity — what your body can handle, recover from, and support long-term.

That might mean:

• Lifting heavy enough to matter, but not so heavy it costs you days of recovery
• Fewer workouts done with more intention
• Training that supports joints, hormones, and energy — not just aesthetics

The goal isn’t to train like you’re 25.

The goal is to train so you’re capable at 45, 55, and beyond.

What Actually Works for Me Now

What works now looks quieter — and far more sustainable.

• Strength training with purpose
• Eating enough to support training and recovery
• Walking for movement, not punishment
• Allowing progress to be slower, but steadier
• Adjusting volume before questioning effort

It’s not flashy. Honestly, with all my experience and knowledge on the subject, I still struggle with this mindset.  But, I know that it supports the body I actually live in and the life I want to lead.

The Most Important Shift

The biggest change hasn’t been physical. I'm still not 100% good with the way I look and how I perform. But my mental game continutes to grow stronger.

I no longer believe:

• More effort is always the answer
• Smaller automatically means healthier
• Aging is something to fight

Instead, I’m choosing:

• Strength that supports my life
• Training I can recover from
• A relationship with my body built on trust, not control

Aging hasn’t made me weaker.

It’s made me more honest.

And that’s where real progress started.